I admire you, but you never know this

You know what??
I admire you for a long time. I wish you a long time. I hope you too long.
In the past until now, I'm still smart to hide all my admiration well. Oh so smart I am ... hehehe
 
But ..
 
Every time I realize that my admiration to you really can not be avenged, at that moment I got a ban for not stopping admire.
Huft .. I'm so confused.
 
 Should I follow my brain that said that I should forget you?
or ..
Should I follow the restrictions that come through my dream to stay admire you because I will receive the reward of my hope for this?
Hmm ...
Actually, the dream was about?
What just ride through?
or is an omen?
Sometimes I feel that dream to give a signal similar to what I'm discussing.
Is it just coincidence?
or .. It's because I'm too thought of it before?
Oh .. too difficult to explain what it was a dream ..

So what should I do now to keep admire you without the slightest hurt me?